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The first time I went back stage at a gig I was so excited to have been let into the inner sanctum that I literally fell into the dressing room. I hadn't noticed the step on the way in.
Fortunately the band didn't laugh at me too much or I would have been unable to speak. So started a long process of trying way too hard to act cool in front of artists.
Some of us have made the transition from crew to star (most famously Noel Gallagher), and many of us make the transition in reverse but for most of us, we are never going to have any moments of glory in the spotlight. Hanging around back stage is the closest we're ever gonna get.
So it was a long journey for me from being on the floor backstage at the Camden Palace to stage managing a festival " the point at which point all stardust seemed to evaporate. Superstars were revealed as whiney ego-maniacs. Pop princesses spent hours adjusting radio mics that were never going to be switched on as they prepared to mime their way through their current hit; squeaky clean teen bands had to be force fed coffee to sober up; leather clad rock goddesses were revealed as chavs; balding former megastars refused to come off stage when they were told and suffered the ignonimity of having their sound cut off; towels were the wrong colour; drinks were too warm or too cold; fruit had been cut up into the wrong shapes or not cut up at all".
I knew the startdust had really gone when I turned down the chance to meet Madonna after a gig. Something I will probably live to regret, but I remember saying to a friend at the time "What's the point? She's not going to invite me round for dinner, want to be my new best friend".
Now I'm very happy with my desk job, working with superstar songwriters who also like to lurk behind the scenes, and I can go back to being a punter at gigs. Standing at the back, singing my lungs out, jumping up and down and getting to go home afterwards. Brilliant!
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